Faits divers.

A few things I have failed to blogg about.

Bites: Since my arrival in France, I have been the victim of no fewer than 12 bites. At present, I have 5. That said, I have killed 3 suspected mosquitos so far. So, Mosquitos 12 v. Martin 3.

Cirefe: Last Monday we sat a test for CIREFE. I'll be honest, I have no idea what that stands for, but it meant doing a test to assess my French.

First question: is your spoken French a. much worse, b. worse, c. about the same, d. better, e. much better, than your written French?

That was how we were assessed orally. (No giggling please). The test itself involved describing a picture, then making up a conversation to go with it.

Woman: meet me at this address at 18h. My husband will let you in, and I will arrive shortly.

Needless to say, I quickly changed the direction of that conversation.

English section of the hypermarché: The hypermarché had an English section. I paid 1,57€ for beans. And 3€ for Kettle Chips. Worth it though. They had 3€ cans of Strongbow too. I did not buy Strongbow.

Bites: see above.

Stares: This country is a nation of gawpers. I mean seriously. They don't even make it discrete that they're gawping at you. They just gawp. I have recently started gawping back. This seems the polite thing to do. Plus, it makes it known that I have caught them. Fuckers.

Carrefour Crazy: This involves the angry/man who sits outside Carrefour and shouts abuse. "Profitez de la vie *mumbling* Breton". He scares me, and I avoid him.

Mattress Lady: A woman has started selling mattresses outside Carrefour. 50€ for a single, 100€ for a double. I am unsure if this is a bargain or not. I'm unsure about the prices of mattresses in real money.

Bites: As above.

French PCs: I mean library computers. Not only do they have retarded keyboards (I mean you need to press shift to get a full stop!), but they wouldn't let me use Facebook, or check my webmail today. Not amused.

Evil stares: Some bint spent at least 3 minutes intently staring at me, stopping the stare only to blink. Once. Evil.

So. Much. Kissing. : How is Swine Flu (or Grippe A) not bigger here?! I mean they kiss each other when they greet each other. They kiss each other upon departing. Get. A. Room.